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Friday

The Revival Fellowship



Liberated from the Revival Centres in 1985, they pretty much picked up the ball when Lloydy dropped it while he went on his manical genocidal cleansing spree to purge HIS church of its sinful human dross so that he could deliver it clean and perfect as a bride to a very fussy groom (not his actual words fyi). Godfrey, Khulmann and the gang dropped the horse, added a couple more trumpets and decided to be fellowships rather than centres. The meeting format didn't skip a beat and the drinking of various substances was and is still forbidden.

The majority of RFers can still sleep in on a Sunday morning but have to give up most of the P.M. (Prime Mowing time). Say goodbye to the kids on Sunday morning, 'cause you won't get to see them much again until you're safely back at home at 6.30 or so.

They continue to ex-communicate members who infringe on sexual sins and shun ex-members who don't wish to rejoin the ranks. They respect the idea that they're not the only 'true' church and believe that all the tongue-speakers of the earth are truly united in the one super dooper unit. They believe there are only three classes of people on this planet: Christians, worldlies... and Catholics. They hold disdain though for tongue-speaking Christians who don't preach the absolute necessity for tongues.

Their assemblies are still under the thumb of a tight hierarchal system that ensures all the seperate assemblies play by the franchise rules and that every burger has pickles on it and a staff member who will ask, "Would you like tongues with that?" No women are allowed to serve the burgers and the head guys have to wear ties and have a picture of the queen behind their desks.

One's christianality is still determined by an emphasis on physical evidence (ie. speaking in an ecstatic language - tongues) to 'confirm' salvation rather than the concept of walking by faith and not by sight (2 Cor 5:7). You must be completely submerged in water to fulfill the complete ritual. If you leave a hand out of the water during the dunking or get hit by a bus on the way to the river... eternal life hangs in the balance.

What do these churches do to help their communities around them..? the weak, the widow, the fatherless? Like every other Tongue-fixated church, they are only interested in dragging converts back to their halls where everything will come out in the wash. Cancer will go away, homosexuality won't happen, and life will be rosey and sweet forever and ever amen. In short... they do NOTHING for their fellow man.

4 comments:

tina FCD said...

I am so glad I was NOT raised in a religion. (Thank you, mom.)

Anonymous said...

Hmmm.. quite innacurate I must say. Right from the first sentence - it wasnt 1985. (And so on).

mothpete said...

Oops, yes of course, 1995. The year my daughter was born. Thanks for the head's up. The article was written in a whimsical form and a bit tongue in cheek, but other than the date was innacuracies are you talking about? I'll be glad to fix them up.

This is mainly a storage forum, if you would like to discuss any of the topics see revival.aimoo.com

Cheers

Unknown said...

I realise that for many years no-one has responded to or even read this article and its not unlikely that my comment will only ever be seen by myself. Nevertheless I will post my comment. :)

It may sound surprising, but I actually largely agree with what was written up to the point of "...under the thumb of a tight hierarchical system...".

I try to keep it short, so I will only briefly reply to one item and that is the comment "...they do NOTHING for their fellow man." It is nearly impossible to be further from the truth than this remark. For example: one of the most important, helpful and loving things one could do is to talk to 'your fellow man' (and woman) about what great things God has done already and wants to do for every person on the earth. To provide all support to anyone who actually wants to have this in their life too, would quite possibly be equally helpful and loving. Finally, the way that a member of the Revival Fellowship (such as myself) would behave toward anyone who does not show a desire to follow God is in honesty, kindness and consideration. This may or may not include providing hot soup for hungry people.

Let us never forget that Jesus was not so much about 'teaching people to depend on others to give them fish' but that Jesus was 'teaching people how to fish' and become a giver, rather than a taker.

Sorry, all of a sudden I wrote a large piece of text :P